What gives you pain?

Raspberry taste buds

What gives me pain
is
the last fresh Summer’s
Raspberry

I painstakingly
queenly grieve
the death of
rare taste
buds.

Raspberries
overblown last,
perilously,
thinned my blood.

To winter’s
consolation 😛
impervious-
its brass ring,
the anemic chest-
nut ;
I still pain.

Pray, servant of destiny,
one more gogo
merry-
go-round
Don’t let me
carousel myself
short

What gives me pain,
my aristocratics,
imperiously crave
the Winter Raspberry
to paint.

happy heuristics!

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6 thoughts on “What gives you pain?

  1. You know, your tags are poetry too. Seem like there are at least a few deprivations lamented in your poem. Love the rhyme, also the playfulness that you already identified. Reminds me of one of Plath’s poems, from her Juvenilia work,..hell I cant remember after these years what the poem name or the berry type was. Time to Google it. Good write Michal.

    • So kind of you, Jim, though I believe you are a little bit of a flatterer with Mrs Plath 🙂
      The rhyme? I suppose you mean between the words ‘perilously’; ‘impervious’;’ imperious’ ?

      Deprivations? Certainly, but those I have, for the most part created: my aristocratics; delicious masochism 😉 : “….not to have is the beginning of desire.”

      the priest desires. The philosopher desires

      And not to have is the beginning of desire.
      To have what is not is its ancient cycle.
      It is desire at the end of winter,when

      It observes the effortless weather turning blue

      It knows that what it has is what is not
      And throws it away like a thing of another time
      As morning throws off stale moonlight and shabby sleep. Wallace Stevens
      from “Notes toward a Supreme Fiction”

      • Created purposefully?
        Yes it was the 1st set of rhymes there. The internal family rhymes make a difference… R[a]spberries/last, pain/crave/paint.

        “….not to have is the beginning of desire.” You gave me a mission. I’ll begin with a refresher on detachment verses non-attachment. Wallace certainly promotes this theme…but from what I’ve seen of loose adherents, getting Wallace’s winter to bin it’s cold weather indulgence when spring arrives—that’s the issue to me, conceding that those who haven’t the will to regulate their seasonal desires, likely won’t personally benefit from Commandments, blue laws, or any “scared moral” tactics.

        Your thought is close in flavor to a friend of mine, Wain. I know Wain well, and when I feel he adopts ideas to fortify his position and polish his conscience for certain “taboos”, I trust my gut. I dont get that vibe from you, I say this to confess my bias. I do not like ideologies that play loose with LHP/dark path or derivative ideas.

        But open to anything, if it is revealed to me, somehow. I’ll be reading the latest post soon. (=

      • Don’t you think that one can “create” a painful situation, pain, without doing it “purposefully”, hence the subsequent feelings of guilt, regret and even remorse when suddenly awareness strikes? In this poem, I choose to laugh at myself 😉 Maybe an evasion from pain, the “taboo”? I really don’t take myself too seriously here. This capacity for self-deception is intrinsic to human nature and is capable of initiating desire. You can interpret my reference to Wallace Stevens’s insight as trying to cover up pain or something else, through whatever “ideolog[y] that play[s] loose with LHP?/dark path or derivative ideas”, fair enough. You may also admit, with me, that self-deception and the pain of self-awareness, when it happens, can be a subject for self-derision. Both interpretations, and I hope, many others are valid. Cheers.

  2. You drew me back in to reread. You adopted terms from my impression of Wain..I tailored some just for you, a paragraph up: “seasonal desires”. Here’s another “cold weather indulgence”. Gems. I tried to be clear I did not assume the same about you. I mean how could I know if you have taboos to defend?

    “…that self-deception and the pain of self-awareness, when it happens, can be a subject for self-derision.” Oh yes, yes it can for certain. Exhibit A your honor: Me! And because accidents happen driving the proper direction, I dont switch directions to improve my odds. If indeed the implication was that there are good reasons to avoid awareness, by extension remain in deception. Grandma at 95? She gets a pass but the rest of us sow. And register everything, guided by the decisions we make, which also register, every one.

    I know this is a sophisticated subject, and my sentences are short and hard. It may say more about my mood. This scene below makes a point or two better than I.

    • Sophisticated, complex subject indeed. We are masters at “corrupting” “reality”. Very few souls are ready to strip away every illusion: the price to pay can be very high (isolation, despair,alienation, nihilism, madness…). Learning when enough “lucidity” is enough is salutary, but, again, some too sensitive souls can’t help going where they don’t belong and bring back, provided they come back, some terrifying works of art …to our delight.

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