My first encounter with self-help coincided with my going to the States and what can be called a cultural clash. The culture of success and happiness the American way: good, better, best. The title in the news in my school’s paper could have gone like this: French schoolgirl mugged during an exchange trip to America. So the story began:
On one fateful day, I entered the local drugstore in Needham, Massachusetts. I was 14 years old, the school trip was drawing to an end and it was time to buy some souvenirs. Among all the tacky memorabilia I could afford, I bought a mug with a message that was going to mesmerize me for the next 10 years to come:
Success is doing what you love;
Success is loving what you do;
Success is being true to yourself. Continue reading
“It’s not what we want in life, it’s what we have that we want. And it’s true of every moment and true of every human being. And until we see that, our work is not done. We are simply believing what we think and that is very, very painful […] Confusion is the only suffering on this planet…” Byron Katie
Byron Katie has discovered a great simple heuristic to find more inner peace: 4 questions and turning around. The Work.
There are lots of fascinating interviews with Byron Katie about questioning what you are believing. I particularly like this one, because what Katie shares about her heuristic methodology resonates with what I am writing about in this blog . Her answer to Jordan, the interviewer, beyond theory, be it cognitive psychology, Buddhism or A Course in Miracles, is eloquent .
Around 7.54, she says about her heuristic process: ” The questions no matter what we compare [them] to, actually are nothing, there is no power in them other than as a KEY to a person’s own answers. And it’s [in] a person’s answer where the power is[…] “
Loving what is vs being right and unhappy
With great sensibility to what her interviewer says, She further elaborates on Jordan’s interesting above distinction inspired by her: it’s not that people only want to be right and pay it with unhappiness, it’s more that they haven’t found yet the way to being happier: “Everyone would be happier if they could. We would all FIND A WAY if we know what it was[…] [The questions] are a key to our internal, they are a key to our minds[…]how to open the mind and giving the mind permission to open…”, a “new beginning”, a new “direction”, happiness ensues.